Director: Kelly Sandefur (Inhabited, Fangs) Writer: Jeff Phillips (3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain) Starring: Thomas Haden Church, Justin Urich, Lisa Loeb, Corey Feldman What started as a once in a while kind of thing has turned into a curse. The MTI Home Video kids flick craze has reached an all-time high. If the […]
Director: Kelly Sandefur (Inhabited, Fangs)
Writer: Jeff Phillips (3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain)
Starring: Thomas Haden Church, Justin Urich, Lisa Loeb, Corey Feldman
What started as a once in a while kind of thing has turned into a curse. The MTI Home Video kids flick craze has reached an all-time high. If the trend continues, MTI will unleash a new kid’s film onto the unsuspecting public every month until the end of the time. I Downloaded a Ghost, their March 2004 selection is probably their best effort yet. That’s not to say it’s a good movie. It’s still terrible in more ways than one, but at the very least, it doesn’t really aim to insult your intelligence as much as Bug Off!, nor creep you out in the way that 587: The Great Train Robbery did.
A tandem of stupid crooks, of course consisting of the fat idiot and skinny idiot, steal an ancient artifact, jumping in a local cab for your typical escape attempt. When the cops get to them, the nearly as idiotic cab driver tries a valiant escape, artifact in hand. The reason for running from the cops is that he has his first comedy set that night, and Winston feels that his lamebrain antics must be seen. Why exactly he ran with the artifact in his hand is never explained, but hey, it’s an MTI Home Video kids flick. His plans get, quite literally, crushed when a truck runs him over. So ends the failing career and life of comedian/taxi driver Winston Pritchett.
Well, not entirely true. On the other side of town, young Stella Brownstone is in search of new methods to ensure that, come Halloween, her haunted house finishes in first place. You see, there’s a rich, bitchy girl named Teri, supposedly in about 8th grade (despite obviously being at least 19), who has made Stella’s life a living hell for many years. Since her dad is the superintendent of the school district that Stella’s dad is the principal of, Teri gets anything she wants while Stella often gets the proverbial shaft. In an attempt to spook up her world, she takes a break between likely looking at lesbian porn to search the Internet for tips. Soon enough, she stumbles upon a website that downloads a ghost not only into her computer, but into her life.
Yes, it’s the ghost of Winston. It turns out he’s stuck in purgatory because the police thought it was him who stole the artifact, and the only way for him to get into heaven is for a human to clear his name. I guess Ghost takes place in a world where God is not all knowing. With Winston at her side, Stella now has to find a way to win the haunted house contest, make sure her dad keeps his job, AND ensure a ghost that tells bad jokes finds his place in heaven. And to think I’m stressed from writing a column.
So much of I Downloaded a Ghost is poor. The writing, as per the usual, is full of glitches that make you scratch your head. The characters are one-dimensional. There are scenes where certain scared pre-teens are noticeably laughing on camera. Ghost, somehow, is actually a hoot to watch. It’s a, :gulp:, fun movie.
DVD: A trivia game that I can only hope those reading my column will be able to score well on.