Director(s): Arch Stanton (aka Jim Wynorski) Writer(s): Mark Thomas McGee & James B. Rogers (both of Sorority House Massacre II) Starring: Gail Harris, Melissa Moore, Deborah Dutch, Orville Ketchum (aka Peter Spellos) Well, no one ever accused Jim Wynorski of being an uptight artist, and there’s good reason for it. Essentially a sequel to Sorority […]

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Hard to Die

Director(s): Arch Stanton (aka Jim Wynorski)
Writer(s): Mark Thomas McGee & James B. Rogers (both of Sorority House Massacre II)
Starring: Gail Harris, Melissa Moore, Deborah Dutch, Orville Ketchum (aka Peter Spellos)

Well, no one ever accused Jim Wynorski of being an uptight artist, and there’s good reason for it.

Essentially a sequel to Sorority House Massacre II, which he also helmed, this is truly Jim being Jim. That of course means machine guns, sleaziness, and blood will come into play. And by most respects, Hard to Die fulfills those qualities that Jim and his fans love.

Here’s a plot for you screenwriting hopefuls to rip off. A group of unemployed, yet incredibly attractive, women get a one-night job working for a lingerie company sorting through receipts and such. Meeting up with the creepy janitor (Ketchum), who saved the day in the previous film, they’re told the horrendous story of what happened. Using a little revisionist history, Ketchum narrates a montage of clips from the original Slumber Party Massacre, changing names and situations around to fit the current plot. A bit confusing, yes, but it’s not like this really matters.

Not withstanding the conundrum, a package is accidentally delivered to the office. When opened, it released an evil spirit that invades the body of one of the building’s inhabitants. So once the girls order pizza and shower in the manager’s private bathroom (huh?), they start getting picked off. Eventually the machineguns come into play, with the last twenty minutes or so of the movie quite possibly containing some of cinema’s most wacky moments.

Hard to Die is absolute schlock, and that’s exactly what it was intended to be. Hard to Die is seventy-seven minutes of blood, boobs, and guns, with a lot of comedy and even a few in-jokes as well.

Admittedly, there’s a period of time where this thing turns into just another routine slasher flick and begins to feel tedious, but that soon washes away as you realize how impractical everything on your screen is.

Watch out for Wynorski, who quite randomly appears as a porno director.

DVD: Barebones, which is unfortunate, since Jim seems to have a soft spot in his heart for the film.

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Hard to Die, 7.5 out of 10 based on 2 ratings

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