Escape Velocity Release Date: 14 October 2002 (UK) Genre: Sci-Fi | Thriller Director(s): Lloyd A. Simandl (Bound Cargo, Slaves of the Realm) Writer(s): Paul A. Birkett (Mindstorm, The Operative) Starring: Wendy Crewson, Patrick Bergin Directed by Lloyd A. Simandl. If that’s enough to make you turn away from Escape Velocity right now, then, well, you […]

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Escape Velocity
Release Date: 14 October 2002 (UK)
Genre: Sci-Fi | Thriller
Director(s): Lloyd A. Simandl (Bound Cargo, Slaves of the Realm)
Writer(s): Paul A. Birkett (Mindstorm, The Operative)
Starring: Wendy Crewson, Patrick Bergin

Directed by Lloyd A. Simandl.

If that’s enough to make you turn away from Escape Velocity right now, then, well, you obviously aren’t as eerily knowledgeable of direct-to-video films as I am. Consider yourself lucky.

Simandl and his company North American Pictures are known for making movies about women being taken hostage and/or made into slaves. While Escape Velocity is different, as it’s just futuristic craption (crap action), it still follows the golden rule unofficially set forth by Simandl: If we make a movie, we’re going to go out of our way to make sure it’s crap.

In the distant future of 2127, a murderer of an entire town is being prepped for his execution. After the usual banter between him and the angry prison guards, the priest arrives to administer the last rites. Lo and behold, the man is a friend of his, and gunplay soon erupts. After five minutes of the same old shooting between characters we’ve all seen before, we cut to fifteen years later. A family, which includes Wendy Crewson (of Verdict in Blood and The Killing Spring), Patrick Bergin, and an angst ridden teenage daughter, are aboard a spaceship preparing to study the explosion of a red giant star. They stumble upon a spaceship that includes the cryogenically frozen convict, and not knowing who he is, thaw him out.

If you don’t know what comes next, you don’t belong here. He and his buddies terrorize the family, only for the femme fatales to stand up for themselves and retaliate.

Escape Velocity wouldn’t be so bad if it actually had suitable antagonists. They’re all so freakin’ non-descript that I just stopped caring. If you’re going to have a bunch of skinny white guys with no personality as your enemies, at least give them different shirt colors or something.

Will also be available on a double-sided DVD alongside Interceptor Force in May of 2005.

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Escape Velocity, 3.0 out of 10 based on 1 rating

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