Derailed Release Date: 5 November 2002 (Russia) Genre: Action | Thriller Director: Bob Misiorowski (Air Panic, Shark Attack) Writers: Jace Anderson & Adam Gierasch (both of Toolbox Murders, Spiders) Starring: Jean-Claude Van Damme,Tomas Arana, Laura Harring When Van Damme went direct-to-video, his mind went there with him. Before he realized that there was a small […]

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Derailed
Release Date: 5 November 2002 (Russia)
Genre: Action | Thriller
Director: Bob Misiorowski (Air Panic, Shark Attack)
Writers: Jace Anderson & Adam Gierasch (both of Toolbox Murders, Spiders)
Starring: Jean-Claude Van Damme,Tomas Arana, Laura Harring

When Van Damme went direct-to-video, his mind went there with him. Before he realized that there was a small chance for his career to rebound, which led to him making movies like Wake of Death, he seemingly allowed his agents to pick out his new projects. And that is simply not a good decision for an actor to make. Or hey, maybe it was Van Damme’s fault, since he probably was too concerned with ensuring that he had bought himself the biggest billboard at Cannes to care about his films. Whatever the case, Derailed is a perfect example of the crap that Van Damme allowed his career to be subjected to in the wake of his theatrical career busting.

It’s Die Hard on a train! Now, now, I know, that was the plot of Under Siege 2. But that movie sucked, so lets allow Van Damme to make it better.

Errrr… So much for that. Van Damme takes the balls and fumbles it like so many before him with the film Derailed. As Jacques Kristoff, Van Damme plays his usual character; a special agent who must save the world while at the same time juggling a wife and kids. On the weekend of his birthday, Kristoff gets called away to secretly escort a wanted woman carrying a small case over country lines. While they escape from a gun toting military, there’s one group they don’t get away from.

Actually, two.

The first is, of course, the cardboard terrorists who board the train in search of the smallpox vials being carried by the woman. Second is Van Damme’s family, including his real-life son Kristopher Van Damme playing, coincidentally, his son. To remark on Kristopher’s acting talents is to say that, well, he certainly takes after his old man.

So for the rest of the movie, we’re dealt some pretty tired conventions. Van Damme sneaks throughout the train, slowly picking off the terrorists, all while his family and train passengers are kept hostage. Lets not forget that the virus is let loose, infecting and killing some people on the train, all while Van Damme tools around on top of the train to the chagrin of the audience. The CGI on display is both dreadful and laughable, as are the model trains used.
Even Van Damme’s trademark fights are nothing remarkable here, which makes this tepid fare all that more skippable.

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Derailed, 3.0 out of 10 based on 1 rating

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