Boss’n Up Release Date: 1 June 2005 (USA) Genre: Musical | Drama Director(s): Dylan C. Brown Writer(s): Dylan C. Brown Starring: Snoop Dogg, Hawthorne James and Larry McCoy I knew Boss’n Up was going to be bad, but I had no idea it would be “music videos within a movie” bad. Only one other movie […]

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Boss’n Up
Release Date: 1 June 2005 (USA)
Genre: Musical | Drama
Director(s): Dylan C. Brown
Writer(s): Dylan C. Brown
Starring: Snoop Dogg, Hawthorne James and Larry McCoy

I knew Boss’n Up was going to be bad, but I had no idea it would be “music videos within a movie” bad.

Only one other movie in 2005 features what are essentially music videos interlaced throughout a movie. That movie, Home Invasion, was a poorly shot, low budget urban film with idiots at the helm that probably thought it was a grand and innovative idea to have characters belt out raps, complete with studio beats, in the middle of scenes. Boss’n Up, on the other hand, had a budget in the mid-hundred thousand dollars. You’d figure that the people behind it would realize that such a concept just doesn’t make sense, but when Snoop Dogg’s production company makes a movie, reason and logic apparently goes out the door. There are three or four times where the movie just stops for a few minutes in order for flashy videos of Snoop Dogg rapping alongside people like Lil’ John and Pharrell to play.

Cordé Christopher (Dogg) is an unsuccessful grocery clerk whose one true talent lies in being able to wrap women around his finger. After meeting a pimp named Orange Juice, he comes to realize that he has a real talent for pimping. He meets his first employee, a “way too beautiful to actually be a ho” ho named Chardonnay, and begins to expand his business as time goes on. Cordé soon has to decide if he’s going to an abusive pimp or nice one.

Yeah, that’s the movie’s main conflict. “Shall I, or shant I, beat the crap out of a ho to keep her in line?” Cordé doesn’t go through an inner conflict where he wonders if peddling sex is a noble profession, and the movie pretty much skips over the rampant drug use and psychological trauma that most prostitutes deal with. It glorifies the profession, right down to cute drawings on a blackboard being used to teach the ladies of the night how much to charge for sex acts.

I wouldn’t have had much of a problem with Boss’n Up’s reprehensible message if it was a good movie. It is far from that. Out Kold, York Entertainment’s entry into the pimp genre, at least had Ice-T deliver the line, “To keep a ho in line you gotta have three feet. Two on the ground and one up her motherfucking ass.” The always-in-slow motion Snoop Dogg lacks charisma, and the script just lacks a little bit of everything.

Not worth it.
DVD: There’s a bonus CD included that features a few songs from the movie.

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