Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold Release Date: 1995 Genre: Action | Adventure | Comedy Director(s): Fred Olen Ray Writer(s): Steve Armogida (Illicit Dreams 2, Bikini Drive-In) Starring: J.J. North, Nikki Fritz, Michelle Bauer, Jay Richardson Before he became the go-to guy for stock footage action films, Fred Olen Ray was responsible for a lot […]

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Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold
Release Date: 1995
Genre: Action | Adventure | Comedy
Director(s): Fred Olen Ray
Writer(s): Steve Armogida (Illicit Dreams 2, Bikini Drive-In)
Starring: J.J. North, Nikki Fritz, Michelle Bauer, Jay Richardson

Before he became the go-to guy for stock footage action films, Fred Olen Ray was responsible for a lot of T&A flicks in the early 90s. Some of them were good, while some were downright terrible. No matter what, they typically fell into two categories. They were either absolutely goofy and fun, or ventured more into the erotic thriller realm of things. As you imagine with a title like Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold, this movie falls into the first category.

And how else would a movie like this begin but with three buxom women competing to be the Plaything of the Year for the very Playboy-like magazine Plaything? Run by the very-Hugh Hefner like Bob Gordon (Richardson), these three girls are being sent down to his luxurious mansion for the weekend in order for Gordon to make his choice. As you’d expect in a movie like this, one of the three women is willing to sleep around to get chosen.

Believing that her looks may be fading, another Plaything by the name of Angel (North) makes a phone call to a scientist. We know the man is a scientist because, well, to quote Nathan Shumate over at Cold Fusion Video, “Test tubes of colored liquids? But that must mean — there’s SCIENCE going on!” Turns out that Angel was formerly a very average girl, and it was thanks to his beauty formula that she has blossomed into her current form. Angel convinces the doctor to send another thirty-day supply to the mansion, but a desperate Angel decides not to follow the directions. Drinking much of the vials in a single day, she grows to be a 60 Foot Centerfold. While Angel is aghast at what’s happened to her, Bob Gordon wants to exploit the young girl’s profit potential, all before shipping her off to the military for experiments. Naturally it’s up to the nerdy assistant to save the day.

There’s also a useless subplot thrown in here about the scientists trying to catch and shrink a genetically mutated rat. It’s never really all that funny, and besides for providing a solution at the climax, is just there to kill time.

Pretty much taking the original Attack of the 50 Foot Woman and hamming it up even more by adding the promise of a naked sixty-foot woman, Ray delivers a downright enjoyable genre flick. Whereas the HBO remake of 50 Foot Woman, starring Daryl Hannah and Daniel Baldwin, was just horrible all around, Ray does an amicable job. It’s far from perfect, but the fact that it’s much better than the Hollywood remake says a whole lot about his talents.

DVD: Barebones.

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