Angel Blade’s Release Date: 10 February 2002 Genre: Thriller Director(s): David Heavener (Outlaw Prophet, Twisted Justice) Writer(s): David Heavener (Kill Crazy, Prime Target) Starring: David Heavener, Marc Singer, Margot Kidder, Louis Mandylor David Heavener made a name for himself in the b-movie world in a way that few have. For close to twenty years the […]

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Angel Blade’s
Release Date: 10 February 2002
Genre: Thriller
Director(s): David Heavener (Outlaw Prophet, Twisted Justice)
Writer(s): David Heavener (Kill Crazy, Prime Target)
Starring: David Heavener, Marc Singer, Margot Kidder, Louis Mandylor

David Heavener made a name for himself in the b-movie world in a way that few have. For close to twenty years the one-man movie machine has directed, produced, wrote, and starred more than half of the twenty films he’s ever been a part of. He’s almost always the star, and from my experience, his typical role is that of the valiant hero. You can probably bet your last dollar on Heavener having sex with a hot chick somewhere within each film’s ninety minute running time as well. One of these days I’ll actually get around to doing a Video Relapse on the man, but for now you’ll have to live with Angel Blade, his latest film which is now out through MTI Home Video.

This isn’t just a David Heavener vehicle though. To fill out the co-star positions Heavener seemingly picked names out of the Hat of Irrelevance. Sadly Jeff Speakman and Matthias Hues will have to wait for Angel Blade 2, as making the cut were Marc “Beastmaster” Singer, Louis “Brother of Costas” Mandylor, and Margot Kidder, along with Richard Moll from “Babylon 5” for the sci-fi geeks. Better luck next time guys.

Remember the old days where movie serial killers weren’t so picky? If someone was going to kill hookers, he was going to kill hookers. It didn’t matter if they were left-handed, had no gag reflex, or listened to Skid Row. Why? Because the serial killer wanted to kill hookers, and none of those smaller qualities really mattered.

As time has passed, so has the system that we used to live by. Replacing it is one with picky serial killers like the one that is at the center of Angel Blade’s mystery. This particular person isn’t just killing hookers. He’s killing pregnant hookers. So you know he means business.

Now it’s up to

[x] alcoholic

[x] cop

[x] suspended from the force

[x] loose cannon

[x] grieving from death of loved one

Bradley Cooper (Heavener) to find out who is knocking off these pregnant working girls. That loved one that he is grieving over is his wife, who died in an unintentionally campy manner while pregnant. Cooper’s investigation brings him to Dr. Gites (Singer), a psychologist whose books about setting hookers straight are somehow so popular that a line of people actually show up for one of his book signings. Gites, of course, denies any connection to the killings, but Cooper suspects otherwise. There are others that he suspects, but these scenes come off as secondary when you consider what the frontrunner is; occasional “O.C.” cast member Amanda Righetti as Cooper’s stripper girlfriend that does a whole lot in the nude.

Despite being clichéd and feeling like something like David Heavener would’ve made in 1992 as opposed to 2002, Angel Blade is far from the worst “strippers / hookers / escorts / nude models get murdered” movie out there. And trust me, there are a lot. Even though Heavener’s multiple duties on the film leave him with a weak luster, nothing he does is abysmal either. His acting, directing, and writing are all acceptable for the genre.

Actually, acceptable is a good word to describe Angel Blade as a whole. It’s not going to blow your mind, nor will you leave with a giant desire to see Heavener’s whole library (unless you’re mentally unstable that is), but b-movie fans will have a fun time with it.

And for crying out loud, someone buy Heavener some antiperspirant.

DVD: David Heavener contributes a commentary track that is rather dry. This was pretty disappointing, as you’d figure that a guy who did just about everything on the movie would have some fun anecdotes. There’s also an eleven minute behind the scenes featurette that is of the “Guy with a camera walks around” variety. I watched the whole thing and have no complaints.

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